The Lightbulb moment on Thursday

In my last post I had complained about feeling in the depths of misery on Monday and also have a terrible attack of the nibbles, in fact my snacking problem had been present to some degree for a few days. The explanation at last became clear yesterday...TOTM!

My explanation for not knowing what was going on is that I have the Depo Provera jab quarterly, which is a progesterone only hormone and it means I rarely have any...outward signs...shall we say of where I am in my cycle. I'm going to write it down in my food diary today and keep better track so I can account for difficult weeks food wise rather than beat myself up...I'm getting black & blue!

After reading Cara's post yesterday which had a bit about eating too quickly and stretching the pouch, I tried really hard to go back to tiny bites and eat slowly, and I did eat slower and smaller bites, but I find it so hard to eat small bites of salad...you need a nice big fork-full with a bit of everything on it idealy...I'll have to settle for less than ideal I suppose. The other thing about salad is that you'd think it would be good band food as it's nice and crunchy, but I don't find it fills up my pouch and gives me a satisfied and full feeling. Does anyone else find this or is it just me? Also, after I finished my meal I then ate about three of my childrens chicken goujons...aaarrrggghh why? because I didn't feel satisfied and I then overate and felt terribly full...very very bad band behaviour and it could threaten my band. I actually think I need to consider this behaviour and give it some serious thought...Is it caused by feeling deprived by small portions? Is it caused by feeling deprived by trying to be on a 'diet' (again refer to Cara's post)? I always did overeat before, both snacking and eating too large portions so I guess this behaviour is not going to change overnight.

One thing I am going to do from now on which is important and will probably really help this problem is to focus fully on my meal and stop doing something else at the same time. This is a big no, no and I've been very much guilty of it...I ate my porridge whilst typing this post...right before I decided that I wasn't going to do that anymore, in fact it helped me realise the problem as it was gone before I knew it. I guess it turns my meals into 'unconscious eating'.

I spent ages yesterday evening messing with my blog account to move a private family blog I have to another Google account as I think it was causing problems with my permissions on this blog. I think this is cured now. I did some tests and it seemed to be working. Hopefully I haven't lost loads of potential followers because of it!

Now I'm worrying about whether this post is really boring! It's a responsibility now to be entertaining...oh the pressure.