I hope I didn't scare you guys off with my last post...it was very late at night...you know how that can be.
I do feel like I need to get some deeper meaning into my life...but I'm not sure at the moment whether this is a chemical thing that needs treating (I have suffered with depression in the past and took meds for a couple of years), or a life challenge that's missing. Although having my own business was bloody hard and stressful, it was incredibly rewarding and I loved being my own boss and calling the shots and I was incredibly proud of what I'd achieved. I think this could be why my work now just doesn't cut it. It feels totally pointless...is this it? Is this why I get up in the morning? To push paper for someone else? Obviously raising my boys is a very important focus, but the way I've been feeling, I ask myself 'am I raising my boys so that they too can run the treadmill of pointlessness? Wow it sounds gloomy inside my head doesn't it?
Lately I just can't be bothered to put myself out at work and really achieve to my potential...but that just so isn't me that I think that may be what's been making me unhappy...the trouble is now, I'm so much wiser as to the stress of being a business owner that I'd be very wary of doing something like that again.
My eldest starts high school tomorrow and my youngest is back at school next Wednesday. I'm going to have a little plan to get some more exercise and keep busy in the evenings once things get back into a routine, that's the time that I find the most tricky and maybe I'll find that helps Also, I'm going to have a think about what I could do career wise that I may find more rewarding.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I know it's not the most inspiring topic, but it helps to discuss these things. xx