Hi All,
Went to the monthly Support Group meeting yesterday...they are talking about changing it to an online forum and education session that you can log into and post threads that will be answered by Stuart the nutricianist who runs the support group and Dr Ashton to try to reach more patients as the groups are currently quite small. I enjoy going and chatting about issues with the other patients and the education sessions are useful. I get the impression though that Stuart prefers to keep a tight reign on things and not let us chat too much...he seems frustrated when he can't get a word in edgewise...get used to it...it's a group of mostly women...we like to talk! and we like to share!
I also get the impression when I talked to Stuart in the break about my plans for the next couple of weeks to get back on track, he really didn't want to have to listen to it. Surely that's his job...or is it just me he finds tiresome...I don't know but it doesn't give you a warm and fuzzy feeling! Saying that he is very nice and very good at his job so I've decided to give him break...he might have been having a bad day.
There is a lady who goes who is a GP by profession, she's very nice and has been having a hard time appying herself to the diet side and also has found that she has no restriction despite having a whopping 10mls put in her band!! This week she told me that she'd found out she has a leak in her band and has to have the port and tubing replaced. Hence the lack of restriction! She seems quite down about it as she has struggled so long and now has to not only have more surgery, but pay for it and she also has to pay for a locum to cover her surgery whilst she's off as she has no holiday pay left. The surgeon and anaesthetist have both said they'll give their time for free so the cost I think is for the hospital...she'll get confirmation soon as to how much it will cost her, so fingers crossed it'll be low or even gratis! If the band proves to be fauly I'm sure she'll have some legal recourse.
We were discussing it after and I mentioned the newly introduced guarantee. A girl who had her surgery the same day as me said that she had signed the new contract with the guarantee!!! How frustrating to think that I should have been told this was coming in and wasn't. I only signed my contract a week or two before the surgery! I can assure you that if I do need the revision surgery I shall be making a fuss about it. hummmph!
Weight Ticker
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
2nd Fill...and a moving port!!!
I went for my second fill on Saturday...bit of a pain as the support group meeting is on the Sunday so I had to spend two afternoon's there instead of one. Luckily I left half an hour early (after being late for my xray fill I wasn't letting that happen again.) The traffic was so hideous due to a football game in the area that it took the whole half an hour extra to get there and I arrived right on time for my fill...but...you guessed it, due to the traffic they were running 45 minutes late on their appointments! Oh well, better them late than me.
The worrying thing that I found out was that my port is moving around!! What's that about?? When I had my xray fill Dr Ashton found it immediately and was able to get the needle in without any hesitation. This time he felt around...then felt around some more..then lowered the bed head...then had another couple of feels. Then he said with a look of consternation on his face, but not looking at me, as he went over to set up the needle...'your port is moving'. Then he came back with the needle felt around for a while longer and finally put the needle in. The fill was done then without any difficulty and the port wasn't mentioned again. I was hesitant to ask as he didn't seem in a very good mood and he hadn't brought it up. Silly I know, but I needed to chew on it a bit longer myself.
He put a further 1.3mls in my band bringing me up to 6.8mls in total.
When I came out of the appointment and was having a drink to make sure I could get it down okay I saw the nutricianist walk past so I grabbed him and asked him about the financial situation should I need to have port revision surgery as I was concerned that if it were to twist or leak that's what I would need...after only three months I can't help thinking that it should be covered. The annoying thing is that they've recently since I've signed my contract introduced a guarantee for the surgery and an extra year aftercare inclusive in the price! He said I'd need to phone and ask which contract I'm on...I have checked my contract and it is as I suspected that I am on the old agreement whereby they contract out of any liability for complications and associated costs.
Let's just hope that this doesn't become necessary. I'm going to try not to dwell on it.
The worrying thing that I found out was that my port is moving around!! What's that about?? When I had my xray fill Dr Ashton found it immediately and was able to get the needle in without any hesitation. This time he felt around...then felt around some more..then lowered the bed head...then had another couple of feels. Then he said with a look of consternation on his face, but not looking at me, as he went over to set up the needle...'your port is moving'. Then he came back with the needle felt around for a while longer and finally put the needle in. The fill was done then without any difficulty and the port wasn't mentioned again. I was hesitant to ask as he didn't seem in a very good mood and he hadn't brought it up. Silly I know, but I needed to chew on it a bit longer myself.
He put a further 1.3mls in my band bringing me up to 6.8mls in total.
When I came out of the appointment and was having a drink to make sure I could get it down okay I saw the nutricianist walk past so I grabbed him and asked him about the financial situation should I need to have port revision surgery as I was concerned that if it were to twist or leak that's what I would need...after only three months I can't help thinking that it should be covered. The annoying thing is that they've recently since I've signed my contract introduced a guarantee for the surgery and an extra year aftercare inclusive in the price! He said I'd need to phone and ask which contract I'm on...I have checked my contract and it is as I suspected that I am on the old agreement whereby they contract out of any liability for complications and associated costs.
Let's just hope that this doesn't become necessary. I'm going to try not to dwell on it.
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Drazil's Friday Bring Your Own Crazy Quiz....here goes
Hi All,
I'm taking part in Drazil's BYOC quiz for the first time ever...hope you're all excited, it's a bit late but here goes...
1. Name a career you would NOT want to do and tell why.
The career that I would NOT/could NOT do is Teach children. When I finished high school I just had no clue what I wanted to do for a career and the only thing I had experience of was the school system, so I went into teachers college as they called it then.
Apart from the fact that I just did not have the maturity then to do that kind of job, I most certainly did not have the patience for it. I remember telling my boyfriend at the time that I was applying for teachers college and his reaction was to laugh out loud! He just thought it was utterly hilarious that someone as impatient as me could even think of being a teacher. I was pretty surprised at peoples reactions as I had no idea that people had that impression of me..people who really knew me I mean...As it turns out they were completely right...I so could NOT do that job!!! I admire good teachers and I really don't know how they do it.
As an addition to the above, my parents confessed that when I had my first son they were slightly dubious as to what kind of parent I was going to make...again, I'm so glad! I think over the years I'd made various harsh and intolerant sounding comments about children and their various behaviours which made my parents wonder whether motherhood and I were designed to go together. Fortunately I've been happy to prove them wrong on this one...My mother actually told me a couple of weeks ago that she regularly discussed with her friends what a good mum I am. It's been 11 years since I had my first son so I'm sure she's quite forgotten her worries of all that time ago and isn't telling her friends in a surprised way...I think she's bragging is all. That's a nice thing to hear from your mum, kind of makes up the for the doubts she had in my late teens and twenties...almost. :0)
2. What’s the best present you ever received for your birthday?
I know this is very unspiritual sounding and very materialistic, but my two favourite birthday presents have been my iPod one year and my iPhone for my last birthday, both from my hubby. I'm very attached to these gadgets. When I used to have trouble sleeping, with worries tumbling over in my mind for hours making me feel anxious and keeping me awake. I downloaded all the Ricky Gervais podcasts and audiobooks as they came out and I would play them when I went to bed with the sleep timer on. This successfully distracted me from bad thoughts and I would fall asleep in probably 10 minutes on most nights. Yes! bonus! my iPhone let's me have access to my emails and I can browse the net, read all your blogs and catch up on forum posts while I'm on the train to and from work or on holiday. Just fabulous.
3. This is from Amy W. (I had a request to copy her question and ask it today in BYOC) (Hope that’s okay Amy!)
What do you hide behind?
The last ten years or so I suppose I hide behind inconspicuous clothes to try not to be noticed as I haven't felt good about the way that I look. I also have always hidden behind various self-sabotages as I'm so convinced I'll fail at things that my negative thought process actually makes it happen.
I think it's great that so many of you are super confident regardless, or perhaps because of your size. I've been thinking about it and I think my opinion of how other people will value me is so low that I feel that when I'm very overweight it draws peoples attention to me in a negative way and will make them look down on me/dislike me and my self-confidence just disappears except with people I know well (I don't suppose it gives people much credit for any depth does it!). I know that as I lose weight I will gain in confidence and I think it's a shame that so much of my self-worth is tied up in my weight. One thing I've learned from so many of you is that people will perceive us as worthy if we project that we believe we are worthy and that we love and value ourselves. Big lesson
4. Where were you born?
Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
5. A little twist on this one..usually we ask – what blog spoke to you the most, stuck with you, had the most effect on you this week? This week I’m adding to that which comment may have affected you greatly? Sometimes a blog can lead to amazing comments and they deserve their own claim to fame here in this question.
Chelles's comment on 'back boobs made me chuckle on Amy W's blog on Tuesday;and a post answering Amy's question 3 above on her Friday blog by Pamela E Williams was really brilliant. She talks about growing up being different from her siblings and not feeling attractive, but she was smart, so she used her intelligence as a sheild and a consolation and an identity.
I'm taking part in Drazil's BYOC quiz for the first time ever...hope you're all excited, it's a bit late but here goes...
1. Name a career you would NOT want to do and tell why.
The career that I would NOT/could NOT do is Teach children. When I finished high school I just had no clue what I wanted to do for a career and the only thing I had experience of was the school system, so I went into teachers college as they called it then.
Apart from the fact that I just did not have the maturity then to do that kind of job, I most certainly did not have the patience for it. I remember telling my boyfriend at the time that I was applying for teachers college and his reaction was to laugh out loud! He just thought it was utterly hilarious that someone as impatient as me could even think of being a teacher. I was pretty surprised at peoples reactions as I had no idea that people had that impression of me..people who really knew me I mean...As it turns out they were completely right...I so could NOT do that job!!! I admire good teachers and I really don't know how they do it.
As an addition to the above, my parents confessed that when I had my first son they were slightly dubious as to what kind of parent I was going to make...again, I'm so glad! I think over the years I'd made various harsh and intolerant sounding comments about children and their various behaviours which made my parents wonder whether motherhood and I were designed to go together. Fortunately I've been happy to prove them wrong on this one...My mother actually told me a couple of weeks ago that she regularly discussed with her friends what a good mum I am. It's been 11 years since I had my first son so I'm sure she's quite forgotten her worries of all that time ago and isn't telling her friends in a surprised way...I think she's bragging is all. That's a nice thing to hear from your mum, kind of makes up the for the doubts she had in my late teens and twenties...almost. :0)
2. What’s the best present you ever received for your birthday?
I know this is very unspiritual sounding and very materialistic, but my two favourite birthday presents have been my iPod one year and my iPhone for my last birthday, both from my hubby. I'm very attached to these gadgets. When I used to have trouble sleeping, with worries tumbling over in my mind for hours making me feel anxious and keeping me awake. I downloaded all the Ricky Gervais podcasts and audiobooks as they came out and I would play them when I went to bed with the sleep timer on. This successfully distracted me from bad thoughts and I would fall asleep in probably 10 minutes on most nights. Yes! bonus! my iPhone let's me have access to my emails and I can browse the net, read all your blogs and catch up on forum posts while I'm on the train to and from work or on holiday. Just fabulous.
3. This is from Amy W. (I had a request to copy her question and ask it today in BYOC) (Hope that’s okay Amy!)
What do you hide behind?
The last ten years or so I suppose I hide behind inconspicuous clothes to try not to be noticed as I haven't felt good about the way that I look. I also have always hidden behind various self-sabotages as I'm so convinced I'll fail at things that my negative thought process actually makes it happen.
I think it's great that so many of you are super confident regardless, or perhaps because of your size. I've been thinking about it and I think my opinion of how other people will value me is so low that I feel that when I'm very overweight it draws peoples attention to me in a negative way and will make them look down on me/dislike me and my self-confidence just disappears except with people I know well (I don't suppose it gives people much credit for any depth does it!). I know that as I lose weight I will gain in confidence and I think it's a shame that so much of my self-worth is tied up in my weight. One thing I've learned from so many of you is that people will perceive us as worthy if we project that we believe we are worthy and that we love and value ourselves. Big lesson
4. Where were you born?
Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
5. A little twist on this one..usually we ask – what blog spoke to you the most, stuck with you, had the most effect on you this week? This week I’m adding to that which comment may have affected you greatly? Sometimes a blog can lead to amazing comments and they deserve their own claim to fame here in this question.
Chelles's comment on 'back boobs made me chuckle on Amy W's blog on Tuesday;and a post answering Amy's question 3 above on her Friday blog by Pamela E Williams was really brilliant. She talks about growing up being different from her siblings and not feeling attractive, but she was smart, so she used her intelligence as a sheild and a consolation and an identity.
Thursday, 22 April 2010
Big First Fill
I know, I know...what is this? Nothing for 2 weeks and then 4 posts in one day??!!
It's just to say that when I went for my first fill as I probably mentioned at the time, I was running late and Dr Ashton didn't ask for my fill record card and fill it in and for some silly reason I didn't think to ask how much fluid he'd put in...let's face it, I tried to leave the table with the needle hanging out of my port...I obviously wasn't especially sharp that morning! How could anyone forget they had a huge needles stuck in their stomach?
On Monday, having made the decision the day before that I was going to phone for a fill...who should phone me but Claire the Healthier Weight nurse to see how I was finding my first fill. I took the opportunity of 1st booking my next fill (Saturday) and 2nd of asking how much fluid had been put into my port...I thought maybe 2ml, 2.5ml...No, try again...a whopping 5.5ml had been put in for a first fill! I'm not complaining as I could see from the xray at the time that the barium was passing through at the correct speed of around two contractions of the stomach. It looked slowed, but not too slow if you see what I mean.
I'll let you know how I get on with the new fill on Saturday!
It's just to say that when I went for my first fill as I probably mentioned at the time, I was running late and Dr Ashton didn't ask for my fill record card and fill it in and for some silly reason I didn't think to ask how much fluid he'd put in...let's face it, I tried to leave the table with the needle hanging out of my port...I obviously wasn't especially sharp that morning! How could anyone forget they had a huge needles stuck in their stomach?
On Monday, having made the decision the day before that I was going to phone for a fill...who should phone me but Claire the Healthier Weight nurse to see how I was finding my first fill. I took the opportunity of 1st booking my next fill (Saturday) and 2nd of asking how much fluid had been put into my port...I thought maybe 2ml, 2.5ml...No, try again...a whopping 5.5ml had been put in for a first fill! I'm not complaining as I could see from the xray at the time that the barium was passing through at the correct speed of around two contractions of the stomach. It looked slowed, but not too slow if you see what I mean.
I'll let you know how I get on with the new fill on Saturday!
Diet Fatigue...
As I'm sure I've already mentioned, my weightloss is super slow. I seem to lose a pound, put a pound on, lose 0.2lb, lose another 0.2lb...get the pound off again, then put on 0.4! It's what's known in the diet trade as the circuitous route! I think a big part of my problems now is what I'm calling 'diet fatigue'!
The initial fear and novelty value has worn off the band and I'm struggling to maintain my motivation to overcome my eating issues and eat few enough calories on a daily basis to lose a significant amount of weight.
I've dieted now, (yo-yo'd I should say) for the past five years solid. After an initial very successful period where I'd managed to lose 37lbs and eventually plateau, I cycled between renewed committment and weightloss; and frantic binges ending up over time within a couple of pounds of where I'd started!
Each time I became remotivated and tried again, my motivation was that bit shorter lived and more easily destroyed if I didn't have the weightloss I felt I'd earned for a week or two in a row.
On a positive note...I've come to the acceptance that I am not going to shock and surprise people with a dramatic weight loss and that's okay. I'll be more than happy if I am just going down...that is something I would never have accepted in my Slimming World days (I was discouraged if I lost less that a pound a week and if I'd been 'good' I expected to lose at least 2lbs or more.
My main reason for deciding I could relax and accept a slow loss was the realisation that this time I am going to keep it off!!!
I've already had the odd bad week and I haven't put anything on to speak of, and I can't eat anythig like the quantity of food I could before, so that's damage limitation.
No...despite my imperfect restriction and despite my food related issues, I'm happy that I've had the band and I'm happy that I'm going in the right direction. There's a lot of trial and error involved and sometimes I fall on my ass and eat the wrong things and miss out on opportunities I should have taken to exercise, (I am bone-idle when it comes to jumping about)...but sometimes I do right and sometimes I lose weight! It's all good...and I have a fill on Saturday so look out!
Cara (The Dash) said that when I reach good restriction I won't be focused on food so much...can't imagine it, but I really would love it to be true. It's hard to resist food when you're thinking about it all the time...
The initial fear and novelty value has worn off the band and I'm struggling to maintain my motivation to overcome my eating issues and eat few enough calories on a daily basis to lose a significant amount of weight.
I've dieted now, (yo-yo'd I should say) for the past five years solid. After an initial very successful period where I'd managed to lose 37lbs and eventually plateau, I cycled between renewed committment and weightloss; and frantic binges ending up over time within a couple of pounds of where I'd started!
Each time I became remotivated and tried again, my motivation was that bit shorter lived and more easily destroyed if I didn't have the weightloss I felt I'd earned for a week or two in a row.
On a positive note...I've come to the acceptance that I am not going to shock and surprise people with a dramatic weight loss and that's okay. I'll be more than happy if I am just going down...that is something I would never have accepted in my Slimming World days (I was discouraged if I lost less that a pound a week and if I'd been 'good' I expected to lose at least 2lbs or more.
My main reason for deciding I could relax and accept a slow loss was the realisation that this time I am going to keep it off!!!
I've already had the odd bad week and I haven't put anything on to speak of, and I can't eat anythig like the quantity of food I could before, so that's damage limitation.
No...despite my imperfect restriction and despite my food related issues, I'm happy that I've had the band and I'm happy that I'm going in the right direction. There's a lot of trial and error involved and sometimes I fall on my ass and eat the wrong things and miss out on opportunities I should have taken to exercise, (I am bone-idle when it comes to jumping about)...but sometimes I do right and sometimes I lose weight! It's all good...and I have a fill on Saturday so look out!
Cara (The Dash) said that when I reach good restriction I won't be focused on food so much...can't imagine it, but I really would love it to be true. It's hard to resist food when you're thinking about it all the time...
Checking restriction
Hi All,
Since the Easter break I've been trying to get back to the real world and see how my restriction is working for me (as I mentioned in a recent post).
Catching up with last week...I meant well I really did, but my body just wasn't co-operating! This seems a little unnusual and I'm hoping it's just a phase...I'll explain.
I decided I was going to follow the hunger more and not eat for the love of eating, whilst still having at least three decent meals a day of course. This seemed to be going fine at work. I ate sensibly...I had some fruit and yoghurt with me, so if I had been hungry I could have eaten them.
I finish work in time to catch the train home and pick up the kids from school at 3:15 but most days by the time I'd gotten down to school from the train I was really feeling hungry and weak. I'd gone from not hungry...to ravenous!! WTF?? On the walk home I felt completely drained and a bit faint and when I got home each day the cupboard contents emptied themselves into my mouth!!! Needless to say this ruined my appetite for my evening meal and completely scuppered my chances of losing ANY weight!
Then on Saturday I decided I was determined to lose some weight over the weekend and was going to be very good! Felt fed up and deprived on Saturday, but managed to eat only low calorie healthy food when hungry and not eat anything in between meals. I felt very virtuous when I showed a loss on the scales on Sunday morning.
But Oh No...we went out for the day as a family on Sunday and I was sssooooo hungry at lunch time from the day before's deprivations (proper hunger) that I ate an entire chicken wrap and a jam doughnut. My husband was stunned...I could have happily inhaled two of the sugarry monsters but people were watching! I'd had my regular portion of porridge for breakfast and it was only 12:00pm so what was that about???
Immediately following that lunch I decided that I would by phoning for another fill ASAP.
Why is it that a decrease in calories on one day (or one part of the day) is seriously affecting my appetite the next day (or during the afternoon), when I've eaten enough calories. This doesn't usually happen when I'm dieting (I'm far from starving myself). Like I said before I hope it's just a phase. Hhhmmmm
Since the Easter break I've been trying to get back to the real world and see how my restriction is working for me (as I mentioned in a recent post).
Catching up with last week...I meant well I really did, but my body just wasn't co-operating! This seems a little unnusual and I'm hoping it's just a phase...I'll explain.
I decided I was going to follow the hunger more and not eat for the love of eating, whilst still having at least three decent meals a day of course. This seemed to be going fine at work. I ate sensibly...I had some fruit and yoghurt with me, so if I had been hungry I could have eaten them.
I finish work in time to catch the train home and pick up the kids from school at 3:15 but most days by the time I'd gotten down to school from the train I was really feeling hungry and weak. I'd gone from not hungry...to ravenous!! WTF?? On the walk home I felt completely drained and a bit faint and when I got home each day the cupboard contents emptied themselves into my mouth!!! Needless to say this ruined my appetite for my evening meal and completely scuppered my chances of losing ANY weight!
Then on Saturday I decided I was determined to lose some weight over the weekend and was going to be very good! Felt fed up and deprived on Saturday, but managed to eat only low calorie healthy food when hungry and not eat anything in between meals. I felt very virtuous when I showed a loss on the scales on Sunday morning.
But Oh No...we went out for the day as a family on Sunday and I was sssooooo hungry at lunch time from the day before's deprivations (proper hunger) that I ate an entire chicken wrap and a jam doughnut. My husband was stunned...I could have happily inhaled two of the sugarry monsters but people were watching! I'd had my regular portion of porridge for breakfast and it was only 12:00pm so what was that about???
Immediately following that lunch I decided that I would by phoning for another fill ASAP.
Why is it that a decrease in calories on one day (or one part of the day) is seriously affecting my appetite the next day (or during the afternoon), when I've eaten enough calories. This doesn't usually happen when I'm dieting (I'm far from starving myself). Like I said before I hope it's just a phase. Hhhmmmm
Problems with Blogger in Draft!!!
Sorry all...had all good intentions of posting loads this morning, but when I logged on my blog wasn't displaying properly and is almost impossible to read. So I've tried changing the template, by when I view it the old, faulty template is displaying! Hopefully this is fixed soon...be patient with me.
P.S. Just got caught by my boss on Blogger instead of working...whoops! I'm slightly red-faced. Serves me right I suppose for being naughty in work time. I'll check in tonight and hopefully things are back up and running and I'll update you on my last two weeks.
P.P.S Thanks to all those who've commented...It's really nice to read them.
P.S. Just got caught by my boss on Blogger instead of working...whoops! I'm slightly red-faced. Serves me right I suppose for being naughty in work time. I'll check in tonight and hopefully things are back up and running and I'll update you on my last two weeks.
P.P.S Thanks to all those who've commented...It's really nice to read them.
Friday, 9 April 2010
The Lightbulb moment on Thursday
In my last post I had complained about feeling in the depths of misery on Monday and also have a terrible attack of the nibbles, in fact my snacking problem had been present to some degree for a few days. The explanation at last became clear yesterday...TOTM!
My explanation for not knowing what was going on is that I have the Depo Provera jab quarterly, which is a progesterone only hormone and it means I rarely have any...outward signs...shall we say of where I am in my cycle. I'm going to write it down in my food diary today and keep better track so I can account for difficult weeks food wise rather than beat myself up...I'm getting black & blue!
After reading Cara's post yesterday which had a bit about eating too quickly and stretching the pouch, I tried really hard to go back to tiny bites and eat slowly, and I did eat slower and smaller bites, but I find it so hard to eat small bites of salad...you need a nice big fork-full with a bit of everything on it idealy...I'll have to settle for less than ideal I suppose. The other thing about salad is that you'd think it would be good band food as it's nice and crunchy, but I don't find it fills up my pouch and gives me a satisfied and full feeling. Does anyone else find this or is it just me? Also, after I finished my meal I then ate about three of my childrens chicken goujons...aaarrrggghh why? because I didn't feel satisfied and I then overate and felt terribly full...very very bad band behaviour and it could threaten my band. I actually think I need to consider this behaviour and give it some serious thought...Is it caused by feeling deprived by small portions? Is it caused by feeling deprived by trying to be on a 'diet' (again refer to Cara's post)? I always did overeat before, both snacking and eating too large portions so I guess this behaviour is not going to change overnight.
One thing I am going to do from now on which is important and will probably really help this problem is to focus fully on my meal and stop doing something else at the same time. This is a big no, no and I've been very much guilty of it...I ate my porridge whilst typing this post...right before I decided that I wasn't going to do that anymore, in fact it helped me realise the problem as it was gone before I knew it. I guess it turns my meals into 'unconscious eating'.
I spent ages yesterday evening messing with my blog account to move a private family blog I have to another Google account as I think it was causing problems with my permissions on this blog. I think this is cured now. I did some tests and it seemed to be working. Hopefully I haven't lost loads of potential followers because of it!
Now I'm worrying about whether this post is really boring! It's a responsibility now to be entertaining...oh the pressure.
My explanation for not knowing what was going on is that I have the Depo Provera jab quarterly, which is a progesterone only hormone and it means I rarely have any...outward signs...shall we say of where I am in my cycle. I'm going to write it down in my food diary today and keep better track so I can account for difficult weeks food wise rather than beat myself up...I'm getting black & blue!
After reading Cara's post yesterday which had a bit about eating too quickly and stretching the pouch, I tried really hard to go back to tiny bites and eat slowly, and I did eat slower and smaller bites, but I find it so hard to eat small bites of salad...you need a nice big fork-full with a bit of everything on it idealy...I'll have to settle for less than ideal I suppose. The other thing about salad is that you'd think it would be good band food as it's nice and crunchy, but I don't find it fills up my pouch and gives me a satisfied and full feeling. Does anyone else find this or is it just me? Also, after I finished my meal I then ate about three of my childrens chicken goujons...aaarrrggghh why? because I didn't feel satisfied and I then overate and felt terribly full...very very bad band behaviour and it could threaten my band. I actually think I need to consider this behaviour and give it some serious thought...Is it caused by feeling deprived by small portions? Is it caused by feeling deprived by trying to be on a 'diet' (again refer to Cara's post)? I always did overeat before, both snacking and eating too large portions so I guess this behaviour is not going to change overnight.
One thing I am going to do from now on which is important and will probably really help this problem is to focus fully on my meal and stop doing something else at the same time. This is a big no, no and I've been very much guilty of it...I ate my porridge whilst typing this post...right before I decided that I wasn't going to do that anymore, in fact it helped me realise the problem as it was gone before I knew it. I guess it turns my meals into 'unconscious eating'.
I spent ages yesterday evening messing with my blog account to move a private family blog I have to another Google account as I think it was causing problems with my permissions on this blog. I think this is cured now. I did some tests and it seemed to be working. Hopefully I haven't lost loads of potential followers because of it!
Now I'm worrying about whether this post is really boring! It's a responsibility now to be entertaining...oh the pressure.
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
I AM NOT A STALKER...No, really!
I'm sitting here having just caught up with everyones blogs and feeling very over full! Not good. I've actually been having a serious case of the nibbles...I've just eaten several handfuls of pistachio nuts whilst I've been reading, and I'm not going into any further detail as my hubby has been threatening to read my blog and as he's the curious sort I'm sure he will. I don't need him shaking his head at my list of picking today thanks very much! - This huge glass of SF squash is so not helping.
I've had a weird Easter. Saturday as you can see from the previous post was great...I was over the moon to get under the psychological barrier of 14 stone and Sunday I didn't weigh. I'd been sensible and bought only a small amount of chocolate for the boys for Easter which never even saw the light of day so it was not flaunted under my nose.
Then I caught up on some blogs Sunday evening and had a lovely surprise to find I finally had my very own follower! - Thanks Roo...and also my very first comment from BandedGirl whose blog I've been following for a while. It was a really good feeling as I've recently started to feel more confident in myself and am feeling ready to have some readers of my own.
The thing I've noticed about reading blogs, especially the ones that I've gone back to the beginning and read all the way through is that I really feel that I've gotten to know the person (and like them obviously or I wouldn't have bothered to read their whole blog!) and when I put comments onto peoples blogs who I feel as though I have a real liking for...I feel like a bit of a stalker...because they don't know me from a bar of soap! The good thing about having my own blog though is that those people can now start to get to know me a bit if they want to.
Anyway getting back to the Easter weekend...Monday was the day from Hhhheeeeelllll. I feel like I've been stuck in the house forever and I was getting quite down...I wasn't even able to resort to my usual cures of eating chocolate, drinking a bottle of wine or any other unhealthy mood lifter and I've just been feeling ssooooo lazy that I couldn't even be bothered to do anything energetic!
My in-laws arrived in the afternoon with my salvation...a large Cadbury's egg...1 for me and 1 for my hubby. I ate most of mine whilst dinner was cooking and then couldn't manage anything else to eat. Ooops! I didn't even feel guilty...it was medicinal. Needless to say some of that lovely weight loss has now gone back on. I can live with that for now. I needed that chocolate to treat my mental health issues.
Tuesday I really was thrilled to get back to work...hubby had to take the kids to work with him (he's self employed) and I stayed at work until 5pm (I usually finish at 2.30!) Today I worked from home and as I said the nibbles got me bad...I'm going to take the kids out tomorrow the weather's looking promising at least (it's done nothing but rain and be overcaste for the entire Easter school break up to now).
My plan is not to stress out until life gets back to normal. Next week the kids are back at school, I'm back to my usual working hours, I can get back to walking the kids to school which is at least forty minutes walking a day which will make me feel more energetic, more cheerful and help with the weight loss. Then I can start to really evaluate if this fill has got some mileage in it and whether I can lose some weight with it as I don't think Easter school holidays is a fair test...who can withstand the sheer boredom...never mind the ready availability of the evil 'brown stuff'? it doesn't mean my fill is no good. I have had a few nearly stucks and a couple of really stucks since I had it, so it's doing something. I've got to give it a fair trial I suppose before rushing in for another one.
The thing that makes me tempted to rush things and be impatient is the looming closeness of the summer and my desire to lose a significant amount before the sleeveless top season. I'm putting that out of my head now. This is for the long haul.
I've had a weird Easter. Saturday as you can see from the previous post was great...I was over the moon to get under the psychological barrier of 14 stone and Sunday I didn't weigh. I'd been sensible and bought only a small amount of chocolate for the boys for Easter which never even saw the light of day so it was not flaunted under my nose.
Then I caught up on some blogs Sunday evening and had a lovely surprise to find I finally had my very own follower! - Thanks Roo...and also my very first comment from BandedGirl whose blog I've been following for a while. It was a really good feeling as I've recently started to feel more confident in myself and am feeling ready to have some readers of my own.
The thing I've noticed about reading blogs, especially the ones that I've gone back to the beginning and read all the way through is that I really feel that I've gotten to know the person (and like them obviously or I wouldn't have bothered to read their whole blog!) and when I put comments onto peoples blogs who I feel as though I have a real liking for...I feel like a bit of a stalker...because they don't know me from a bar of soap! The good thing about having my own blog though is that those people can now start to get to know me a bit if they want to.
Anyway getting back to the Easter weekend...Monday was the day from Hhhheeeeelllll. I feel like I've been stuck in the house forever and I was getting quite down...I wasn't even able to resort to my usual cures of eating chocolate, drinking a bottle of wine or any other unhealthy mood lifter and I've just been feeling ssooooo lazy that I couldn't even be bothered to do anything energetic!
My in-laws arrived in the afternoon with my salvation...a large Cadbury's egg...1 for me and 1 for my hubby. I ate most of mine whilst dinner was cooking and then couldn't manage anything else to eat. Ooops! I didn't even feel guilty...it was medicinal. Needless to say some of that lovely weight loss has now gone back on. I can live with that for now. I needed that chocolate to treat my mental health issues.
Tuesday I really was thrilled to get back to work...hubby had to take the kids to work with him (he's self employed) and I stayed at work until 5pm (I usually finish at 2.30!) Today I worked from home and as I said the nibbles got me bad...I'm going to take the kids out tomorrow the weather's looking promising at least (it's done nothing but rain and be overcaste for the entire Easter school break up to now).
My plan is not to stress out until life gets back to normal. Next week the kids are back at school, I'm back to my usual working hours, I can get back to walking the kids to school which is at least forty minutes walking a day which will make me feel more energetic, more cheerful and help with the weight loss. Then I can start to really evaluate if this fill has got some mileage in it and whether I can lose some weight with it as I don't think Easter school holidays is a fair test...who can withstand the sheer boredom...never mind the ready availability of the evil 'brown stuff'? it doesn't mean my fill is no good. I have had a few nearly stucks and a couple of really stucks since I had it, so it's doing something. I've got to give it a fair trial I suppose before rushing in for another one.
The thing that makes me tempted to rush things and be impatient is the looming closeness of the summer and my desire to lose a significant amount before the sleeveless top season. I'm putting that out of my head now. This is for the long haul.
Saturday, 3 April 2010
2.8lbs Down since 1st Fill on Monday
yeah! couldn't believe it after such a slow old treck in the last month or so...two days after my fill I'd lost 1.2lbs and then three days later I've lost another 1.6lbs!!! I can't believe it...I know it's not that much, but I can usually starve myself after a few weeks of dieting and only lose a pound and a half in a week, so two months in to lose 2.8lbs in less than a week makes me feel good! Especially since I've been off work with the kids (always a tough time as I'm in the house and usually thinking of food), and I haven't been hungry or felt deprived (mostly). I felt a bit deprived last night because my OH had gone out for a drink with a friend and I was stuck in the house on a diet and with no alcohol! I've given it up to help me stay focused on my weight loss. I could really feel a binge coming on so I drank 3 pint glasses of sugar free cordial to keep my hands and mouth occupied.
The really good bit about this weight loss is it takes me down below the 14st mark which I've really been dying to get below for weeks. So this morning, in my PJ's I was 13st 13.8lb. Bless you, you little .2 of a pound! You make all the difference!
The really good bit about this weight loss is it takes me down below the 14st mark which I've really been dying to get below for weeks. So this morning, in my PJ's I was 13st 13.8lb. Bless you, you little .2 of a pound! You make all the difference!
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Funny story
I forgot to mention a very funny lady I met at the last support group meeting I went to. A lot of the people attending tend to sit quietly and not comment, which I find a bit hard work for the poor man presenting not to have any feedback, so I usually try to answer questions or ask them.
Anyway this month the only other person also joining in was a young blonde Liverpudlian lady who came in a little late with her mum and I must say she looked like the after picture with her slim 10 stone figure despite not yet having had a fill.
We got chatting after the meeting as it transpired that we were both booked in for our first fills within half an hour of each other the next morning. She had struggled with her weight for years and had weighed at her heaviest about 4 stone more than she currently did, but at the time of her consultation she confided in me that she was actually below the acceptible weight criteria by a few pounds, but due to her weight history and inability to maintain weight loss in the past had decided to take matters into her own hands and added some extra weight to her bra cups!!!
I know it's very naughty but I really did have to laugh!
Do you have any funny story's about the lengths people will go to? I'm sure you do.
Anyway this month the only other person also joining in was a young blonde Liverpudlian lady who came in a little late with her mum and I must say she looked like the after picture with her slim 10 stone figure despite not yet having had a fill.
We got chatting after the meeting as it transpired that we were both booked in for our first fills within half an hour of each other the next morning. She had struggled with her weight for years and had weighed at her heaviest about 4 stone more than she currently did, but at the time of her consultation she confided in me that she was actually below the acceptible weight criteria by a few pounds, but due to her weight history and inability to maintain weight loss in the past had decided to take matters into her own hands and added some extra weight to her bra cups!!!
I know it's very naughty but I really did have to laugh!
Do you have any funny story's about the lengths people will go to? I'm sure you do.
Diet clubs
I am a long-time attender of Slimming World which I do really rate as being somewhat ahead of it's time in addressing the phsychological issues around overeating more than some clubs, but I find that as excess portion size is one of my issues (hopefully counteracted by my brand new band) the green days I loved full of rice and pasta dishes were just too high cal in the portion sizes I like...also I think you tend to get a bit stale with a particular set of rules after the two or three years I've been going. I haven't been now for around six months and have been considering whether a slimming group would benefit me in terms of support and motivation and weekly weigh ins whilst I'm working with the band. The one which I'm considering starting is the Rosemary Conley class, partly because there is portion control, stricter low fat meals and mainly because it incorporates a 45 minute exercise class which I need excessively. At £5.50 per session it's not much more expensive than a regular exercise class at a gym and I thought it may be worth a try especially if I can get a friend to come with me for motivation. I haven't decided yet...hhmmmmm, has anyone else tried Rosemary Conley? How did you find it?
Cheating on Liquids!
Hi All,
yesterday was my last day of my post-fill liquid diet and I cheated! Not that I don't usually cheat...I didn't get this extra weight through self discipline you know! I had bought some reduced fat Hommous, one of my faves, but as I opened the fridge I saw that my OH had opened it and it was calling to me...but what to have it with? Should have just grabbed a spoon as it happens but I though 'I know I'll toast half a slice of that lovely wholemeal bread...that'll be nice. No it wasn't...I was eating it walking around as you do naughty foods grabbed on the run and within a swallow or two I felt like I was choking in my chest...yes, I was well and truley stuck. I have been stuck only a couple of times with dry chicken breast and hard boiled egg (worst so far) and I won't go there again, but this was awful...it was going nowhere. I quickly took a sip of my vitamin drink which I'd just prepared but the airlock feeling meant I couldn't really swallow it all and ended up over the sink. My first experience of the dreaded PB. Although I really didn't have much on board, but it definately resembled the experiences I've heard described by more experienced bandsters. fortunately i had some soup in the microwave for my tea which I'd been waiting on while I snuck the half slice of toast and I made myself a hot cup of tea as I thought the heat would sooth all the stuck bits down as I still felt quite uncomfortable. The soup and tea really did help though which is good.
I'm onto mushies today and am so far sticking to the brief quite well which I never did post surgery. I just made sure my portions were tiny and my mouthfuls also tiny.
Today I've started off on porridge for b/f, scrambled egg and baked beans for lunch and I've got some Weight Watchers cottage pie for my dinner, I'll probably make up some veg and have half tonight and half for lunch tomorrow.
I succumbed to the dreaded scales again this morning even though I only weighed myself yesterday and I knew i couldn't really have lost anynmore today. But the reward of seeing the good weightloss yesterday has encouraged my bad scale behaviour!
yesterday was my last day of my post-fill liquid diet and I cheated! Not that I don't usually cheat...I didn't get this extra weight through self discipline you know! I had bought some reduced fat Hommous, one of my faves, but as I opened the fridge I saw that my OH had opened it and it was calling to me...but what to have it with? Should have just grabbed a spoon as it happens but I though 'I know I'll toast half a slice of that lovely wholemeal bread...that'll be nice. No it wasn't...I was eating it walking around as you do naughty foods grabbed on the run and within a swallow or two I felt like I was choking in my chest...yes, I was well and truley stuck. I have been stuck only a couple of times with dry chicken breast and hard boiled egg (worst so far) and I won't go there again, but this was awful...it was going nowhere. I quickly took a sip of my vitamin drink which I'd just prepared but the airlock feeling meant I couldn't really swallow it all and ended up over the sink. My first experience of the dreaded PB. Although I really didn't have much on board, but it definately resembled the experiences I've heard described by more experienced bandsters. fortunately i had some soup in the microwave for my tea which I'd been waiting on while I snuck the half slice of toast and I made myself a hot cup of tea as I thought the heat would sooth all the stuck bits down as I still felt quite uncomfortable. The soup and tea really did help though which is good.
I'm onto mushies today and am so far sticking to the brief quite well which I never did post surgery. I just made sure my portions were tiny and my mouthfuls also tiny.
Today I've started off on porridge for b/f, scrambled egg and baked beans for lunch and I've got some Weight Watchers cottage pie for my dinner, I'll probably make up some veg and have half tonight and half for lunch tomorrow.
I succumbed to the dreaded scales again this morning even though I only weighed myself yesterday and I knew i couldn't really have lost anynmore today. But the reward of seeing the good weightloss yesterday has encouraged my bad scale behaviour!
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Support Group - Dieting makes you fat
Hi All,
I've just been looking over my previous posts and realised I had never blogged about the HW support group which I attend once a month.
I've now been to two, the second of which was last Sunday the day before my fill!
The group is two hours consisting of a one hour informationn session to help with our weight loss and the second hour is a discussion group.
The first session covered planning and record keeping and referred to several studies which seemed to show that people who kept regular food diaries consistently lost more weight than those who didn't...I wondered if this could be influenced by the fact that the motivation it takes to keep a food diary is a reflection of the motivation those people put into their diet...when I am going off the rails, nothing would enduce me to write down all the bad stuff I'm eating! but when I am motivated I'll happily keep a food diary. Not trying to bag out the food diary idea though as i do think it is a good one, and maybe it might help to keep our motivation up a little if we do know we have to write it down!
When people feel they are doing everything right and not losing weight the first thing I advise them to do is keep a food diary and tally up the calories to see if they can spot any problems.
The group discussion afterwards brought up a problem for one of the bandits who after several fills still felt NO restriction!!! Hard to believe! She told the group how she was tucking into Indian takeout with no problem and eating the lot! She'd recently put on half a stone and was feeling pretty fed up. She had a hectic lifestyle and a busy job and found it impossible to eat healthily whilst she was at work. I really felt that a lot of the things she was saying were classic excuses not to be responsible for her food choices! If she'd wanted to she could have gotten round every excuse she was making. She was an intelligent woman in a very good job, but appeared to want the band to do ALL the work for her!! Where did she get this idea from?
I hope that talking it out with the group gave her a chance to get her internal dialogue working and make her start to make plans to overcome these issues. She was saying she never had time for breakfast and wasn't organised enough to make a packed lunch and so was going all day with nothing to eat until 3pm when she would go to Burger King across from work or M&S and stock up on high fat food cause she was so hungry...why not recognise the problem and buy a bag of fruit too whilst you're there and some lower fat cereal bars or other healthy snacks or pre-packed salads and leave the bag in her car overnight and bring it in to work with her the next day - No organisation needed in the morning then and it was winter so even the salads would have kept in the car. Then even if she hungrily ate the high cal food that day, she'd have been fortified to make better choices the following day, by having had something to eat before she went to the shops...M&S even sell porridge in little styrafoam cups which you just need to add water to. So, as I said before, excuses, excuses!
This month we had a lecture on portion and package sizes and how studies show large packets and large plates and utensils result in us eating more...even of foods we don't like! Studies also show that highly visible food will be consumed in greater quantities than food which is not visible...visibility even had more impact than accessibility. So keep those fatty foods out of sight bandits!
This month instead of the regular group discussion Dr Ashton came in and we were encouraged to ask any questions about our surgery or weight loss. I told Dr Ashton about my very slow weightloss of a lb a week on a less than 1000 cal a day diet and asked him if he felt this could be attributed to the much talked about 'starvation mode'. He said that this 'myth' had come about following a very popular book 'Dieting Makes You Fat', written by Geoffrey Cannon and Hetty Einzig in 1983.
Dr Ashton claimed that this book asserted that each time you diet your metabolism slows down and so you will put on weight more easily. Dr Ashton counters this with the fact that although our metabolism will slow down slightly when we are on low calorie diets this effect is temporary and fairly small and that our metabolism will soon return to normal when normal eating resumes.
He also said tht the majority of people who are unable to lose weight on diets are eating more calories than they think they are. He quoted the results of studies in which subjects were under controlled environments and were eating more calories than they were logging and doing less exercise than they were logging.
Whilst I do agree in theory that this does happen to all of us at times and I do believe that the metabolism does return to normal. My personal experience seems to suggest that once your body gets used to regular periods of starvation, it becomes very efficient at engaging this lower metabolism more quickly than it did on the first diet you were ever on. Just my non-scientific opinion.
An interesting point in the William Leith article linked above was that the reason for the over-eating in the first place was not treated by the weight loss diet and would often make it's presence felt in other ways once the fatty food was removed, in his case by an increase in his drinking! This is a very good point! Often times we are treating the symptom rather than the cause. The emotional eating etc. may need to find another outlet. A good one for us all to contemplate.
I hope you've found this topic interesting.
Sparkler xx
I've just been looking over my previous posts and realised I had never blogged about the HW support group which I attend once a month.
I've now been to two, the second of which was last Sunday the day before my fill!
The group is two hours consisting of a one hour informationn session to help with our weight loss and the second hour is a discussion group.
The first session covered planning and record keeping and referred to several studies which seemed to show that people who kept regular food diaries consistently lost more weight than those who didn't...I wondered if this could be influenced by the fact that the motivation it takes to keep a food diary is a reflection of the motivation those people put into their diet...when I am going off the rails, nothing would enduce me to write down all the bad stuff I'm eating! but when I am motivated I'll happily keep a food diary. Not trying to bag out the food diary idea though as i do think it is a good one, and maybe it might help to keep our motivation up a little if we do know we have to write it down!
When people feel they are doing everything right and not losing weight the first thing I advise them to do is keep a food diary and tally up the calories to see if they can spot any problems.
The group discussion afterwards brought up a problem for one of the bandits who after several fills still felt NO restriction!!! Hard to believe! She told the group how she was tucking into Indian takeout with no problem and eating the lot! She'd recently put on half a stone and was feeling pretty fed up. She had a hectic lifestyle and a busy job and found it impossible to eat healthily whilst she was at work. I really felt that a lot of the things she was saying were classic excuses not to be responsible for her food choices! If she'd wanted to she could have gotten round every excuse she was making. She was an intelligent woman in a very good job, but appeared to want the band to do ALL the work for her!! Where did she get this idea from?
I hope that talking it out with the group gave her a chance to get her internal dialogue working and make her start to make plans to overcome these issues. She was saying she never had time for breakfast and wasn't organised enough to make a packed lunch and so was going all day with nothing to eat until 3pm when she would go to Burger King across from work or M&S and stock up on high fat food cause she was so hungry...why not recognise the problem and buy a bag of fruit too whilst you're there and some lower fat cereal bars or other healthy snacks or pre-packed salads and leave the bag in her car overnight and bring it in to work with her the next day - No organisation needed in the morning then and it was winter so even the salads would have kept in the car. Then even if she hungrily ate the high cal food that day, she'd have been fortified to make better choices the following day, by having had something to eat before she went to the shops...M&S even sell porridge in little styrafoam cups which you just need to add water to. So, as I said before, excuses, excuses!
This month we had a lecture on portion and package sizes and how studies show large packets and large plates and utensils result in us eating more...even of foods we don't like! Studies also show that highly visible food will be consumed in greater quantities than food which is not visible...visibility even had more impact than accessibility. So keep those fatty foods out of sight bandits!
This month instead of the regular group discussion Dr Ashton came in and we were encouraged to ask any questions about our surgery or weight loss. I told Dr Ashton about my very slow weightloss of a lb a week on a less than 1000 cal a day diet and asked him if he felt this could be attributed to the much talked about 'starvation mode'. He said that this 'myth' had come about following a very popular book 'Dieting Makes You Fat', written by Geoffrey Cannon and Hetty Einzig in 1983.
"Dieting," said Cannon and Einzig, "creates the conditions it is meant to cure." When you diet, something funny happens to your metabolism - it gets better. Better, that is, at making you fat. To see why this should be the case, you have to think like a Darwinian.
Genetically, we are, to all intents and purposes, exactly the same as our Stone Age ancestors, who were threatened, above all, by starvation.
To survive, and reproduce, they had to have a metabolic system that would enable them to deal with periods of scarcity. And we, of course, are the same. Except we don't have periods of scarcity - we have diets.If you want to read the full Telegraph article by Willian Leith follow this link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/features/3632055/Health-warning-all-diets-make-you-fat.html
What happens when the body is given less food than it needs? In the short term, it lives off its own reserves of fat. It gets thinner. But another mechanism comes into play: it also gets better at getting fat. When you diet, your mind wants to lose weight, but your body does not. When you diet, your body thinks you are unable to find food. You think: diet. Your body thinks: famine.
In the Stone Age, your fat-packing genes made you better at both survival and reproduction. Now, in this time of great abundance, they make you worse at both - more prone to heart attacks, and less attractive to the opposite sex.
And crucially, the more diets you go on - the more famines your body is exposed to, in other words - the better you become at getting fat.
Dr Ashton claimed that this book asserted that each time you diet your metabolism slows down and so you will put on weight more easily. Dr Ashton counters this with the fact that although our metabolism will slow down slightly when we are on low calorie diets this effect is temporary and fairly small and that our metabolism will soon return to normal when normal eating resumes.
He also said tht the majority of people who are unable to lose weight on diets are eating more calories than they think they are. He quoted the results of studies in which subjects were under controlled environments and were eating more calories than they were logging and doing less exercise than they were logging.
Whilst I do agree in theory that this does happen to all of us at times and I do believe that the metabolism does return to normal. My personal experience seems to suggest that once your body gets used to regular periods of starvation, it becomes very efficient at engaging this lower metabolism more quickly than it did on the first diet you were ever on. Just my non-scientific opinion.
An interesting point in the William Leith article linked above was that the reason for the over-eating in the first place was not treated by the weight loss diet and would often make it's presence felt in other ways once the fatty food was removed, in his case by an increase in his drinking! This is a very good point! Often times we are treating the symptom rather than the cause. The emotional eating etc. may need to find another outlet. A good one for us all to contemplate.
I hope you've found this topic interesting.
Sparkler xx
3rd Day of Liquids & the possible dangers of Fizzy drinks!
I've been finding this liquid diet really hard...I always feel soooo hungry on it. I haven't been 100% good, I have put a little muesli in my yogurt which is cheating and this morning (day 3) I did have some runny Oat-so-Simple instead, but I took it very slow whilst I was typing my last blog and had to heat it up again before I finished it.
The very good news is that I've weighed myself this morning and I've lost 1.2lbs!!
On Monday after I had my fill I was sitting drinking a can of Diet Coke which I regularly enjoy, and reading the ukgastricband forum and I came across a thread about fizzy drinks...some members were saying they'd been told NEVER to have them because the gas released once the drink hits your pouch will cause it to stretch and could even cause the dreaded slippage!!! Several NHS hospitals have told their patients and some private providers whereas others (including mine) have only said it's up to the individual whether or not you can tolerate the gas. In the past I always have tolerated the gas without a problem, but I've only had my first fill today as you know. I didn't drink much of the coke as it happens and put the rest of the can back in the fridge, but shortly after I was in a lot of discomfort as though I'd seriously binged and felt like my band area was under pressure...not a good feeling. When I stretched my arms above my head I could almost feel my stitches pulling - yuck! As I was actually having hunger pains at the same time I can only really put this down to one thing...gas!!! I took two Windeze and went for a lie down for half an hour, but the pain continued as did the hunger...I then heated up some soup and made a cup of tea hoping the warm liquids would help soothe things...fortunately this did the trick and I was feeling better really quickly after that.
But it did decide me on one thing!! No more diet coke! I guess I can live without it if the alternative is pain and possible band slippage!
Does anyone feel they have any definate info on this topic? Has anyone read any scientific studies on the subject?
Sparkler xx
The very good news is that I've weighed myself this morning and I've lost 1.2lbs!!
On Monday after I had my fill I was sitting drinking a can of Diet Coke which I regularly enjoy, and reading the ukgastricband forum and I came across a thread about fizzy drinks...some members were saying they'd been told NEVER to have them because the gas released once the drink hits your pouch will cause it to stretch and could even cause the dreaded slippage!!! Several NHS hospitals have told their patients and some private providers whereas others (including mine) have only said it's up to the individual whether or not you can tolerate the gas. In the past I always have tolerated the gas without a problem, but I've only had my first fill today as you know. I didn't drink much of the coke as it happens and put the rest of the can back in the fridge, but shortly after I was in a lot of discomfort as though I'd seriously binged and felt like my band area was under pressure...not a good feeling. When I stretched my arms above my head I could almost feel my stitches pulling - yuck! As I was actually having hunger pains at the same time I can only really put this down to one thing...gas!!! I took two Windeze and went for a lie down for half an hour, but the pain continued as did the hunger...I then heated up some soup and made a cup of tea hoping the warm liquids would help soothe things...fortunately this did the trick and I was feeling better really quickly after that.
But it did decide me on one thing!! No more diet coke! I guess I can live without it if the alternative is pain and possible band slippage!
Does anyone feel they have any definate info on this topic? Has anyone read any scientific studies on the subject?
Sparkler xx
1st Fill
I had my first fill on Monday 29th March. My appointment was at 10:30 (or so I thought) I had to arrive 15 minutes early and not have anything to eat or drink for 3 hours before.
When I arrived at around 10:10 the carpark was pretty full, but I eventually found a space around the back of the hospital. After arriving I was told to make my way around to the Healthier Weight reception which I thought I knew (Outpatients area)...but when I got there it was full of all sorts of people who were highly unlikely to be WLS patients! As I was having an X-ray fill and the X-ray department was across the hall (and it looked as though I was more likely to be able to speak to one of the receptionists there who were less busy) I wandered in and started asking about Healthier Weight...at this moment a young lady in a colourful lead smock stepped forward and asked if I was Sparkler then I noticed Dr Ashton also had come forward looking for me. I looked at my watch, only 10:15, then I pulled me appointment letter out of my bag and checked the time on it...10:00am!!! aaarrrrggghh!! I had so wanted to be on time! I was late for my first check up as my husbands Sat Nav was playing up and I didn't find out till I came to set off. It was no-ones fault but my own. It was even in my phone calander for 10:00am...I just don't know how I managed it. It would have actually been quite difficult to get the time wrong, but there you are.
Dr Ashton though, as a true professional was able to have me in and out of that X-ray room in 15 minutes flat ready for his real 10:30.
I was asked to lay down on the Xray table and Dr Ashton lifted my shirt and commented on how well the scaring was healing. He then went to prep the needle and started to ask me whether there was any type of food I couldn't eat and whilst I was answering swiftly and firmly inserted the needle into my port...obviously a tried and trusted distraction technique the question. He had to feed it in quite deep and I actually felt the slight clunk as the needle hit the bottom of the port and I think he then withdrew it very slightly. He left the needle poking out whilst he prepped the saline and squeezed in the required amount without ceremony. He then asked the assistant to raise the bed to almost vertical and she got the xray machine in place (at which point my top fell over my tummy with the needle sticking in it (couldn't feel anything).
Dr Ashton gave me a cup of barium to sip and hold in my mouth, it was a bit over-full so I managed to slop it out the side as I sipped it (very elegant) It tasted slightly peperminty, was thick and otherwise tasted of nothing much. When asked, I swallowed the liquid and watched its progress on the xray screen with interest. I could see it enter the pouch area and I could see it took two peristaltic motions to pass into the stomach. (I think it was two, possibly a small amount left for the third squeeze of the tummy not quite sure now).
On the Xray panel I could see my two curved underwires of my bra and I could even see the hook and eyes which keep it together on the back. Dr Ashton pointed out the band which didn't show that well being plastic but I could see the narrowing of the stomach, the narrow area looked very small so I'm hopeful to see an improvement when i get back onto real food.
Once the table was lowered back into the horizontal position and the xray machine moved I sat up and adjusted my top only to realise just as Dr Ashton pointed it out...that I had a needle still sticking out of my stomach!! I was trying to go home with it still in!
Before I left Dr Ashton weighed me and this time (if you remember my two week check up comments) their scale tallied with my scale thank goodness and with 2lbs worth of clothes on i weighed 14st 3.5lbs from a start of 15st 5lb. I haven't actually lost any weight now for around 3 or 4 weeks as I really lost my motivation and had a couple of weeks of serious hormone motivated eating...I did manage to maintain my existing weightloss though which is absolutely unheard of during one of my hormone related head hunger attacks frequently lasting up to 3 weeks. So I have to take comfort in that at least.
After I was sent on my way I realised I hadn't been asked for my fill card and had no idea how much fluid I had on board - although I guess this is really slightly irrelevant except to update my signature line on the ukgastricband forum. The only important part is how I feel in terms of restriction and as everyone is very different my experience at a certain fill level really bears no resemblance to how someone else may feel at that level.
Yeah, first fill behind me and now on my way to restart my stalled weight loss with three days of fluids and three days of mush.
Sparkler xx
When I arrived at around 10:10 the carpark was pretty full, but I eventually found a space around the back of the hospital. After arriving I was told to make my way around to the Healthier Weight reception which I thought I knew (Outpatients area)...but when I got there it was full of all sorts of people who were highly unlikely to be WLS patients! As I was having an X-ray fill and the X-ray department was across the hall (and it looked as though I was more likely to be able to speak to one of the receptionists there who were less busy) I wandered in and started asking about Healthier Weight...at this moment a young lady in a colourful lead smock stepped forward and asked if I was Sparkler then I noticed Dr Ashton also had come forward looking for me. I looked at my watch, only 10:15, then I pulled me appointment letter out of my bag and checked the time on it...10:00am!!! aaarrrrggghh!! I had so wanted to be on time! I was late for my first check up as my husbands Sat Nav was playing up and I didn't find out till I came to set off. It was no-ones fault but my own. It was even in my phone calander for 10:00am...I just don't know how I managed it. It would have actually been quite difficult to get the time wrong, but there you are.
Dr Ashton though, as a true professional was able to have me in and out of that X-ray room in 15 minutes flat ready for his real 10:30.
I was asked to lay down on the Xray table and Dr Ashton lifted my shirt and commented on how well the scaring was healing. He then went to prep the needle and started to ask me whether there was any type of food I couldn't eat and whilst I was answering swiftly and firmly inserted the needle into my port...obviously a tried and trusted distraction technique the question. He had to feed it in quite deep and I actually felt the slight clunk as the needle hit the bottom of the port and I think he then withdrew it very slightly. He left the needle poking out whilst he prepped the saline and squeezed in the required amount without ceremony. He then asked the assistant to raise the bed to almost vertical and she got the xray machine in place (at which point my top fell over my tummy with the needle sticking in it (couldn't feel anything).
Dr Ashton gave me a cup of barium to sip and hold in my mouth, it was a bit over-full so I managed to slop it out the side as I sipped it (very elegant) It tasted slightly peperminty, was thick and otherwise tasted of nothing much. When asked, I swallowed the liquid and watched its progress on the xray screen with interest. I could see it enter the pouch area and I could see it took two peristaltic motions to pass into the stomach. (I think it was two, possibly a small amount left for the third squeeze of the tummy not quite sure now).
On the Xray panel I could see my two curved underwires of my bra and I could even see the hook and eyes which keep it together on the back. Dr Ashton pointed out the band which didn't show that well being plastic but I could see the narrowing of the stomach, the narrow area looked very small so I'm hopeful to see an improvement when i get back onto real food.
Once the table was lowered back into the horizontal position and the xray machine moved I sat up and adjusted my top only to realise just as Dr Ashton pointed it out...that I had a needle still sticking out of my stomach!! I was trying to go home with it still in!
Before I left Dr Ashton weighed me and this time (if you remember my two week check up comments) their scale tallied with my scale thank goodness and with 2lbs worth of clothes on i weighed 14st 3.5lbs from a start of 15st 5lb. I haven't actually lost any weight now for around 3 or 4 weeks as I really lost my motivation and had a couple of weeks of serious hormone motivated eating...I did manage to maintain my existing weightloss though which is absolutely unheard of during one of my hormone related head hunger attacks frequently lasting up to 3 weeks. So I have to take comfort in that at least.
After I was sent on my way I realised I hadn't been asked for my fill card and had no idea how much fluid I had on board - although I guess this is really slightly irrelevant except to update my signature line on the ukgastricband forum. The only important part is how I feel in terms of restriction and as everyone is very different my experience at a certain fill level really bears no resemblance to how someone else may feel at that level.
Yeah, first fill behind me and now on my way to restart my stalled weight loss with three days of fluids and three days of mush.
Sparkler xx
Monday, 22 March 2010
Starvation Zone...
One thing I read, a link posted by one of the members on ukgastricband forum was an article about the starvation zone/mode phenomenum...I know something definately goes on with me when I'm dieting and as i've posted very recently I've had my suspicions about my thyroid, especially given my family history, but reading this I suspose it really could just be the reason for it all, but whatever is causing it, it's the reason for my loss of motivation. Once I realised I wasn't going to be able to get this weight off quickly by starving it off, I subconsciously threw in the towel and that's what I have to now work at reversing and building up a good sense of purpose to keep my behaviour on track...The best method I think is going to be ensuring that I keep exercising and keep eating the right level of calories and not too few or too many! easier said than done.
http://www.fitnessmantra.info/2006/08/25/starvation-response-why-drastic-calorie-reduction-does-not-work/
I'm now quite enjoying my daily walk to and from school despite the enormously huge steep hill on the way home. I've started to zone out a bit and don't notice I'm doing it so much. I was actually disappointed when my husband offered us a lift this morning as I was looking forward to burning my extra slice of toast off! But my son is extra tired from a musical show he's taking part in during the evenings and stayed in bed so long he had made us run a little late, so I thought it best to be on time for school and take the lift for his sake than mine...I didn't quite have the internal fortitude to let them take the lift and walk to the train station on my own! weak, weak girl!
I'm currently 14st 1.6lb (nude, sorry too much information!) and I would like to try and lose two pounds before my fill on Monday...Not going to happen unless I start really trying again! I'll have to think it through, how am I gonna MAKE it happen?
The forecast is for a mega-hot summer (wouldn't that be fabulous?) hope I'm looking a lot less fleshy by then or it'll be pretty uncomfortable! Would love to lose two stone by then to really enjoy it.
Fingers crossed!
Regards,
Sparkler xx
http://www.fitnessmantra.info/2006/08/25/starvation-response-why-drastic-calorie-reduction-does-not-work/
I'm now quite enjoying my daily walk to and from school despite the enormously huge steep hill on the way home. I've started to zone out a bit and don't notice I'm doing it so much. I was actually disappointed when my husband offered us a lift this morning as I was looking forward to burning my extra slice of toast off! But my son is extra tired from a musical show he's taking part in during the evenings and stayed in bed so long he had made us run a little late, so I thought it best to be on time for school and take the lift for his sake than mine...I didn't quite have the internal fortitude to let them take the lift and walk to the train station on my own! weak, weak girl!
I'm currently 14st 1.6lb (nude, sorry too much information!) and I would like to try and lose two pounds before my fill on Monday...Not going to happen unless I start really trying again! I'll have to think it through, how am I gonna MAKE it happen?
The forecast is for a mega-hot summer (wouldn't that be fabulous?) hope I'm looking a lot less fleshy by then or it'll be pretty uncomfortable! Would love to lose two stone by then to really enjoy it.
Fingers crossed!
Regards,
Sparkler xx
Still not got my head straight
Hi All,
I finally faced up to my transgressions on Saturday morning and got on the scale! I decided that my head in the sand tactics are what had allowed me to put on all this weight in the first place and that I shouldn't pretend that my little binges were having no impact.
The result of my scale confrontation was this.....amazingly I had not put on even 0.2 of a pound!! I had maintained! How fabulous. I had been walking a lot more and was still having small meal sizes which is the only thing I can put it down to. But whatever it was I felt very fortunate.
Only 1 week left now till my very first fill (Monday 29th March) and the day before I have my second support group meeting. I really would like to turn my attitude around before then and get my 'good band' head back on! This morning for example I ate 2 slices of thick wholemeal toast with bad toppings on and felt excessively full! I knew that I was full after 1 slice, but I kept on eating till I'd finished the second...I must start listening to my body.
I finally faced up to my transgressions on Saturday morning and got on the scale! I decided that my head in the sand tactics are what had allowed me to put on all this weight in the first place and that I shouldn't pretend that my little binges were having no impact.
The result of my scale confrontation was this.....amazingly I had not put on even 0.2 of a pound!! I had maintained! How fabulous. I had been walking a lot more and was still having small meal sizes which is the only thing I can put it down to. But whatever it was I felt very fortunate.
Only 1 week left now till my very first fill (Monday 29th March) and the day before I have my second support group meeting. I really would like to turn my attitude around before then and get my 'good band' head back on! This morning for example I ate 2 slices of thick wholemeal toast with bad toppings on and felt excessively full! I knew that I was full after 1 slice, but I kept on eating till I'd finished the second...I must start listening to my body.
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
The Day of my Surgery...The FULL story!
I thought I'd finally give a run down of the surgery day for anyone who's interested. I was notified the day or two before that I wouldn't need to arrive by 8.30 as I was being done in the afternoon and I could therefore have a small breakfast. I had to be there for 10.30 instead.
I caught the train to Manchester and then a taxi to the Spire hospital from there and arrived in good time. I was sitting in my room by 10.30 texting my husband. I'd gone in on my own as we hadn't told anyone about the surgery and therefore we had needed to make some complex arrangements for the children so that they wouldn't know I was away from the house overnight! 'Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!'
We'd told my in-laws that we were going into Manchester with some friends for a meal and asked if the boys could stay overnight with them rather than them having to come to our house and baby-sit...so far so good, until my eldest son was invited to a birthday party the next morning which meant him being dropped off by 9.30...that meant the dinner had to turn into an overnight affair so that we could ask the in-laws to drop him off for us otherwise my husband would have needed to bring our youngest son to the hospital with him to pick me up which would have somewhat spoilt the secrecy rating. Fortunately the in-laws were happy to do all this and asked very few questions about any of it. Phew!
The room wasn't too glamorous...you kind of expect glamour when you go private, but no. And I felt quite self conscious in there and couldn't really relax as i kept expecting someone to walk in and so couldn't be bothered switching on the tv as I wouldn't be able to concentrate on it anyway. I had my iPhone which I had an audio book on that I was listening to to take my mind off what was coming. I still felt nervous however as the audio book was a very suspenseful ghost story!! Not the wisest choice perhaps. I'm quite amazed at how well I can avoid thinking about things these days...I really didn't think forward to the operation much, certainly not in any detail as i think I would have got up and run out screaming if I had.
About half an hour or so after I'd been shown to my room a nurse came in and took my blood pressure and measured me up for my support hose. These are like long white socks with peep toes. Mmmm nice. They are designed to compress the blood flow in your lower legs to decrease the likelihood of having a blood clot (DVT).
By this time I was quite thirsty, but not allowed anything to drink till after it was all over.
11.30 am and the nurse returned with a long questionnaire and gave me a Heparin jab in the tummy to thin my blood and reduce clotting prior to the procedure. After the jab I had a real stinging sensation in my tummy where I'd had the jab...I took this as a bad omen as I felt like a bit of a wimp already and I'd only had a needle. The nurse estimated my op time would be about 5ish, so I decided to hold off on getting into my sexy surgical gown , charming paper pants and grannystockings!
I didn't really feel comfortable reclining on the bed as I felt self conscious...I would have felt really lazy if anyone had come in which they would be doing. Seems silly but I just couldn't so I had to sit in the chair for hours listening to my audio book and now and again getting up and pacing around and every half an hour going to the loo...nerves I guess.
Around lunch time a doctor (suspect he was a trainee) came round and took a blood sample for haemoglobin levels and liver function. He said he would put my line in my hand ready for the anaesthetist if he could find a good vein, now I'm a very veiny person, but for some reason today the usually proud veins on the back of my hands had all but disappeared from view and he just took one look and didn't even mention it again! (that's why I suspect he was a trainee).
About 4.00 I finally got changed into my surgical attire and was all set when Claire the Healthier Weight nurse came to get me. She redid the questionnaire...I can't even remember what the questions were, a lot of them were about making sure I was the right patient at every stage of the process. I had to quote my own birth date rather than just answering yes (I guess people will say 'yes' a lot of the time even if they haven't heard the question properly).
I had to put on my dressing gown and slippers on and walk down to surgery with Claire and an orderly. Once inside the side room to the surgery I was asked to lie on the surgical gurney and a line was put into the back of my hand which was fine, didn't hurt too much. Claire tried to keep me talking at this point distract me from becoming nervous I suspect. I was glad to be distracted to be honest.
The aneasthetist gave me what he called a pre-med, which was supposed to prepare me for the general anaesthetic...don't know how. He injected it into the line on the back of my hand...it felt horribly cold going in and I could feel it going all up my arm, then I could feel a really painful sensation run right down the centre of my body, which culminated in my ladies bits in a very painful fizzing, tingling, burning sensation. Not nice at all. Then I did feel very drunk...I told Claire about the sensations and she said knowingly..."Yes, it's a Dr ?? special" Can't remember the anaesthetists name I'm afraid.
All else I recall prior to the surgery was the anaesthetist saying he was going to administer the general now, and Claire stopping him and saying can we do the questionnaire first and I again had to answer all the questions from the same questionnaire. Very thorough I'm sure. I really can't remember anything else.
The next thing I remember is being very very drowsy and hearing voices very close around me talking, they were obviously observing me closely. I felt as though I couldn't move, I didn't have the strength. Ultimately I managed to open my eyes which was about all I could do. One of the nurses offered me a drink of water and I didn't even have the strength to respond in any way, I couldn't have put my head up to sip anything. One nurse was telling the other one about one of the other patients who she was calling a real 'Princess', she'd aparently been very imperious and demanding about the fact that she was thirsty and wasn't allowed a drink of water prior to surgery. Quite funny, but they seem to almost forget you're there some of the things they say to one another.
When the nurse came to collect me and take me back to the ward, the nurse who'd offered me a drink told her I'd had one drink already and I'd refused a second one...news to me unless I had the first drink whilst I was unconscious...I suppose I could have woken earlier and not remembered it but it seemed unlikely the way I felt then. There was also a conversation with the orderly about the number of patients back to back on Saturday's and Sunday's and how tired they were with the long days. If the orderlys felt that way I dread to think how the surgeons must have felt and I was second from last...they had another patient in surgery still to go. I think they were doing 8 each day. I think it was around 6pm when I woke up.
I was wheeled back to my room and was hooked up to an IV drip for fluids and had an automatic blood pressure machine on my right arm which took my blood pressure every 20 minutes. I had my lower legs wrapped up in these electronic airbags which inflated and deflated intermitently to squeeze the blood around my legs and prevent clots and I still could hardly keep my eyes open.
I'd been asked if I had any pain when I was in the recovery room and indicated that I had some in my incision, so something was given to me for pain, must have been intravenous. I still had some pain for a while (sort of burning sensation), but this eased off after a while as the painkiller took effect.
The bloodpressure machine really squeezed my arm so hard I ended up with purple bruise marks where the creases were caused by the inflating of the armband! Oww, hard to get quality sleep with that going on.
Dr Ashton and my surgeon Mr Favretti and another surgeon who assisted (need to check his name) came in to see me during the evening but I could hardly keep my eyes open to speak to them so they said they'd come back in the morning. Mr Favretti leaned over and said it had all gone very well and squeezed my leg which I thought was very sweet of him. I guess it's quite an intimate experience operating on someone.
The nurse phoned my husband and he came in around 7pm to see how I was. He looked quite anxious for me. I was trying really hard to tell him all about it and not let him feel he might as well have stopped at home for all the comunication going on, but the effort made me feel very nauseous and I ended up sending him for the nurse to get me some anti-sickness medication. Whilst he was gone I closed my eyes and rested, and by the time he'd returned I felt out of immediate danger of vomitting. I explained to the nurse I thougth I may have overdone it trying to chat and she said she could see a real spike in my blood pressure on the machine since my husband had been in, so we decided I'd better stop trying to be entertaining and just get some rest. Oh, and my husband had bought me a bunch of tulips in...only the second EVER bunch of flowers he's bought me! Did I say EVER?! Yes I did, EVER. He must have been worried about me.
After he went home I just dozed between painfully squeezy blood-pressure tests and was quite comfortable, apart from having a very dry throat which felt as though a tube had been shoved down it (think it might have been). So I kept sipping water through the night and I had a lovely nurse who had to unstrap me from all the equipment a couple of times for trips to the toilet.
I caught the train to Manchester and then a taxi to the Spire hospital from there and arrived in good time. I was sitting in my room by 10.30 texting my husband. I'd gone in on my own as we hadn't told anyone about the surgery and therefore we had needed to make some complex arrangements for the children so that they wouldn't know I was away from the house overnight! 'Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!'
We'd told my in-laws that we were going into Manchester with some friends for a meal and asked if the boys could stay overnight with them rather than them having to come to our house and baby-sit...so far so good, until my eldest son was invited to a birthday party the next morning which meant him being dropped off by 9.30...that meant the dinner had to turn into an overnight affair so that we could ask the in-laws to drop him off for us otherwise my husband would have needed to bring our youngest son to the hospital with him to pick me up which would have somewhat spoilt the secrecy rating. Fortunately the in-laws were happy to do all this and asked very few questions about any of it. Phew!
The room wasn't too glamorous...you kind of expect glamour when you go private, but no. And I felt quite self conscious in there and couldn't really relax as i kept expecting someone to walk in and so couldn't be bothered switching on the tv as I wouldn't be able to concentrate on it anyway. I had my iPhone which I had an audio book on that I was listening to to take my mind off what was coming. I still felt nervous however as the audio book was a very suspenseful ghost story!! Not the wisest choice perhaps. I'm quite amazed at how well I can avoid thinking about things these days...I really didn't think forward to the operation much, certainly not in any detail as i think I would have got up and run out screaming if I had.
About half an hour or so after I'd been shown to my room a nurse came in and took my blood pressure and measured me up for my support hose. These are like long white socks with peep toes. Mmmm nice. They are designed to compress the blood flow in your lower legs to decrease the likelihood of having a blood clot (DVT).
By this time I was quite thirsty, but not allowed anything to drink till after it was all over.
11.30 am and the nurse returned with a long questionnaire and gave me a Heparin jab in the tummy to thin my blood and reduce clotting prior to the procedure. After the jab I had a real stinging sensation in my tummy where I'd had the jab...I took this as a bad omen as I felt like a bit of a wimp already and I'd only had a needle. The nurse estimated my op time would be about 5ish, so I decided to hold off on getting into my sexy surgical gown , charming paper pants and grannystockings!
I didn't really feel comfortable reclining on the bed as I felt self conscious...I would have felt really lazy if anyone had come in which they would be doing. Seems silly but I just couldn't so I had to sit in the chair for hours listening to my audio book and now and again getting up and pacing around and every half an hour going to the loo...nerves I guess.
Around lunch time a doctor (suspect he was a trainee) came round and took a blood sample for haemoglobin levels and liver function. He said he would put my line in my hand ready for the anaesthetist if he could find a good vein, now I'm a very veiny person, but for some reason today the usually proud veins on the back of my hands had all but disappeared from view and he just took one look and didn't even mention it again! (that's why I suspect he was a trainee).
About 4.00 I finally got changed into my surgical attire and was all set when Claire the Healthier Weight nurse came to get me. She redid the questionnaire...I can't even remember what the questions were, a lot of them were about making sure I was the right patient at every stage of the process. I had to quote my own birth date rather than just answering yes (I guess people will say 'yes' a lot of the time even if they haven't heard the question properly).
I had to put on my dressing gown and slippers on and walk down to surgery with Claire and an orderly. Once inside the side room to the surgery I was asked to lie on the surgical gurney and a line was put into the back of my hand which was fine, didn't hurt too much. Claire tried to keep me talking at this point distract me from becoming nervous I suspect. I was glad to be distracted to be honest.
The aneasthetist gave me what he called a pre-med, which was supposed to prepare me for the general anaesthetic...don't know how. He injected it into the line on the back of my hand...it felt horribly cold going in and I could feel it going all up my arm, then I could feel a really painful sensation run right down the centre of my body, which culminated in my ladies bits in a very painful fizzing, tingling, burning sensation. Not nice at all. Then I did feel very drunk...I told Claire about the sensations and she said knowingly..."Yes, it's a Dr ?? special" Can't remember the anaesthetists name I'm afraid.
All else I recall prior to the surgery was the anaesthetist saying he was going to administer the general now, and Claire stopping him and saying can we do the questionnaire first and I again had to answer all the questions from the same questionnaire. Very thorough I'm sure. I really can't remember anything else.
The next thing I remember is being very very drowsy and hearing voices very close around me talking, they were obviously observing me closely. I felt as though I couldn't move, I didn't have the strength. Ultimately I managed to open my eyes which was about all I could do. One of the nurses offered me a drink of water and I didn't even have the strength to respond in any way, I couldn't have put my head up to sip anything. One nurse was telling the other one about one of the other patients who she was calling a real 'Princess', she'd aparently been very imperious and demanding about the fact that she was thirsty and wasn't allowed a drink of water prior to surgery. Quite funny, but they seem to almost forget you're there some of the things they say to one another.
When the nurse came to collect me and take me back to the ward, the nurse who'd offered me a drink told her I'd had one drink already and I'd refused a second one...news to me unless I had the first drink whilst I was unconscious...I suppose I could have woken earlier and not remembered it but it seemed unlikely the way I felt then. There was also a conversation with the orderly about the number of patients back to back on Saturday's and Sunday's and how tired they were with the long days. If the orderlys felt that way I dread to think how the surgeons must have felt and I was second from last...they had another patient in surgery still to go. I think they were doing 8 each day. I think it was around 6pm when I woke up.
I was wheeled back to my room and was hooked up to an IV drip for fluids and had an automatic blood pressure machine on my right arm which took my blood pressure every 20 minutes. I had my lower legs wrapped up in these electronic airbags which inflated and deflated intermitently to squeeze the blood around my legs and prevent clots and I still could hardly keep my eyes open.
I'd been asked if I had any pain when I was in the recovery room and indicated that I had some in my incision, so something was given to me for pain, must have been intravenous. I still had some pain for a while (sort of burning sensation), but this eased off after a while as the painkiller took effect.
The bloodpressure machine really squeezed my arm so hard I ended up with purple bruise marks where the creases were caused by the inflating of the armband! Oww, hard to get quality sleep with that going on.
Dr Ashton and my surgeon Mr Favretti and another surgeon who assisted (need to check his name) came in to see me during the evening but I could hardly keep my eyes open to speak to them so they said they'd come back in the morning. Mr Favretti leaned over and said it had all gone very well and squeezed my leg which I thought was very sweet of him. I guess it's quite an intimate experience operating on someone.
The nurse phoned my husband and he came in around 7pm to see how I was. He looked quite anxious for me. I was trying really hard to tell him all about it and not let him feel he might as well have stopped at home for all the comunication going on, but the effort made me feel very nauseous and I ended up sending him for the nurse to get me some anti-sickness medication. Whilst he was gone I closed my eyes and rested, and by the time he'd returned I felt out of immediate danger of vomitting. I explained to the nurse I thougth I may have overdone it trying to chat and she said she could see a real spike in my blood pressure on the machine since my husband had been in, so we decided I'd better stop trying to be entertaining and just get some rest. Oh, and my husband had bought me a bunch of tulips in...only the second EVER bunch of flowers he's bought me! Did I say EVER?! Yes I did, EVER. He must have been worried about me.
After he went home I just dozed between painfully squeezy blood-pressure tests and was quite comfortable, apart from having a very dry throat which felt as though a tube had been shoved down it (think it might have been). So I kept sipping water through the night and I had a lovely nurse who had to unstrap me from all the equipment a couple of times for trips to the toilet.
Feeling low and sliding off the wagon
Hi all,
I've been really struggling for the last few weeks and it's getting worse! Initially I was working very hard to keep my calories below 1000 per day and losing only 1lbish per week for two weeks!!! Very frustrating, so I tried not to think about it too much and decided to up my exercise and also to maybe just have 1200 cals a day to stave off the hunger pains which were getting unbearable and also to help my poor flagging metabolism. I started walking the kids to school and back each day which amounts to over 2 miles walking each day, the road to school is very steep and on the way home is an absolute killer. My tennis lessons have resumed once a week and we took an hour and a half family walk in very hilly terrain on the first Sunday...then I did a drastic calorie cut for a couple of days and managed to knock off over a pound...I should have stayed off the scales though as on the third day the pound had returned for no apparent reason.
Since then I've had the additional challenge of both my children taking turns to take two days off school ill so I had two days at home last week and two this week and my eldest son had a birthday party over the weekend which entailed me buying and preparing multitudinous amounts of junk food. I'm only human and very hungry and deprived and I've really struggled. My hormones are also playing havoc and I've suffered a lot of head hunger and very low moods for the past week and this has resulted in some very illogical food related behaviour. I therefore haven't been near the scales for about a week now as I don't dare!
I don't want to know the worst. I seemed to just think of food the entire time I was at home regardless of whether or not I was hungery (I wasn't hungry). I'm back at work today with a very healthy and sensible start to the day and have bought a small amount of very sensible food with me to eat at work, lets hope I can get myself back on the straight and narrow...This wouldn't have even happened if I was getting a decent reward for all my deprivation of the past. If the scales had kept going slowly downwards I would have been fine, I would have kept up my motivation because I was being rewarded for it. I'm only human and I can't seem to deprive myself to that degree for almost no tangible reward. I'm actually secretly convinced that I have an underactive thyroid, both my sisters are under treatment for the condition, but on the two occassions I've been tested it's come back normal, but both times I was not dieting I was actually overeating and actively putting on weight, which I wondered if this would not show the problem up as I initially do lose weight for the first few weeks of a diet and then I stop and lose almost nothing even when I'm eating well below what I should be. I would request another test now, but I'd feel so stupid after the previous results. I'd also feel stupid that I'd had a gastric band and was still unable to lose weight!!!
I have my first fill booked for 29th March which is only another week and a half, but I really wanted to lose as much weight as possible and work really hard the whole time...which I have done (apart from this past week) and have a lot to show for it. I really think 8-9 weeks post op is too long to wait for the first fill as I've been so very hungry on the low cal diet as my surgical swelling based restriction is absolutely gone! I've gone back to eating largeish portions, I've gone back to bolting my food! I'm gonna have to re-learn all the good habits I was getting into post surgery. I do occassionally come a cropper with things getting stuck, but so far only untoasted bread, chicken breast and hard boiled egg.
Please, please, please let me be one of the lucky ones who experience some good restriction after the first fill and that I don't feel hungry between meals...let's call this The Prayer of the Banded.
I've been really struggling for the last few weeks and it's getting worse! Initially I was working very hard to keep my calories below 1000 per day and losing only 1lbish per week for two weeks!!! Very frustrating, so I tried not to think about it too much and decided to up my exercise and also to maybe just have 1200 cals a day to stave off the hunger pains which were getting unbearable and also to help my poor flagging metabolism. I started walking the kids to school and back each day which amounts to over 2 miles walking each day, the road to school is very steep and on the way home is an absolute killer. My tennis lessons have resumed once a week and we took an hour and a half family walk in very hilly terrain on the first Sunday...then I did a drastic calorie cut for a couple of days and managed to knock off over a pound...I should have stayed off the scales though as on the third day the pound had returned for no apparent reason.
Since then I've had the additional challenge of both my children taking turns to take two days off school ill so I had two days at home last week and two this week and my eldest son had a birthday party over the weekend which entailed me buying and preparing multitudinous amounts of junk food. I'm only human and very hungry and deprived and I've really struggled. My hormones are also playing havoc and I've suffered a lot of head hunger and very low moods for the past week and this has resulted in some very illogical food related behaviour. I therefore haven't been near the scales for about a week now as I don't dare!
I don't want to know the worst. I seemed to just think of food the entire time I was at home regardless of whether or not I was hungery (I wasn't hungry). I'm back at work today with a very healthy and sensible start to the day and have bought a small amount of very sensible food with me to eat at work, lets hope I can get myself back on the straight and narrow...This wouldn't have even happened if I was getting a decent reward for all my deprivation of the past. If the scales had kept going slowly downwards I would have been fine, I would have kept up my motivation because I was being rewarded for it. I'm only human and I can't seem to deprive myself to that degree for almost no tangible reward. I'm actually secretly convinced that I have an underactive thyroid, both my sisters are under treatment for the condition, but on the two occassions I've been tested it's come back normal, but both times I was not dieting I was actually overeating and actively putting on weight, which I wondered if this would not show the problem up as I initially do lose weight for the first few weeks of a diet and then I stop and lose almost nothing even when I'm eating well below what I should be. I would request another test now, but I'd feel so stupid after the previous results. I'd also feel stupid that I'd had a gastric band and was still unable to lose weight!!!
I have my first fill booked for 29th March which is only another week and a half, but I really wanted to lose as much weight as possible and work really hard the whole time...which I have done (apart from this past week) and have a lot to show for it. I really think 8-9 weeks post op is too long to wait for the first fill as I've been so very hungry on the low cal diet as my surgical swelling based restriction is absolutely gone! I've gone back to eating largeish portions, I've gone back to bolting my food! I'm gonna have to re-learn all the good habits I was getting into post surgery. I do occassionally come a cropper with things getting stuck, but so far only untoasted bread, chicken breast and hard boiled egg.
Please, please, please let me be one of the lucky ones who experience some good restriction after the first fill and that I don't feel hungry between meals...let's call this The Prayer of the Banded.
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